What you need
by ECgekko
Summary: Post break up. Arizona wants to face her fears about having kids with Callie but she discovers something unexpected.


**A/N: **This fic is currently on hiatus!

**Disclaimer: **Don't own anything.

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**What you need**

Chapter 1

_**Callie's POV**_

I was standing in Meredith's living room, not even sure why I came. I had a drink in my hand and I definitely needed it. Arizona was only a few feet away, smiling and chatting with a nurse from the hospital. I took another sip of my drink. How could she act like nothing was wrong. Maybe she didn't act. Maybe she was over me already, maybe she was glad she ended it. I took a huge gulp, almost finishing my whole drink. I went to get a new one. When I came back to my scouting spot five minutes later she was still there, with a huge dimpled smile on her face. I couldn't take it anymore. I needed a distraction! But most of all, I needed to get out of here.

_**Arizona's POV**_

"And then, while I was standing right next to him, he...", Andrea, a ped's nurse, animatedly told me and a small group of people, most of whom I didn't even know. I had asked her out, because I knew she was interested in me and because I wanted to get my mind off of Calliope, but it didn't work. I had no interest what so ever in Andrea and I didn't even focus on what she was saying. Still I tried my best to keep my facade and act like everything was normal, when in truth, everything was horrible and all I wanted to do was either curl up in bed and cry or focus on work.

I knew Callie was watching me. I saw her standing with her back against the wall out of the corner of my eye. I had to keep myself from looking in her direction all the time.

"Arizona, are you okay?", Andrea asked, softly laying a hand on my forearm. I pulled away, but gave her a forced smile.

"Sure, I'm great", I lied. She looked at me worried, but her attention was caught by someone asking her a question and she looked away.

My gaze wandered the room, as if I was just looking around. In truth I just wanted to catch another sight of Callie. But when I looked in her direction, she wasn't there anymore. Where did she go? I looked around in the room, hoping to find a glimpse of the ortho surgeon, but couldn't find any.

"Will you excuse me for a second?", I asked my date and already made my way away from the group, towards the exit. I really needed a cigarette right now. I stepped out of the house and was instantly greeted with cold rain. I didn't mind though. I sat down on the swing and lighted a cigarette.

This is where Andrea found me. She had a concerned look on her face, as she sat down next to me.

"You are not great." It was a statement, and we both knew it was true. I said nothing as I lighted another cigarette and took a long drag, staring off in the night.

"You shouldn't smoke", Andrea said and took the cigarette from my hands and threw it in a puddle. When I didn't react to that she signed heavily.

"I know, you don't really like me", she said. Normally I would have disagreed to that instantly, but right now I didn't have it in me to play nice. "And I noticed you staring at Dr. Torres all night, but I am not mad. I knew from the beginning that I never really had a chance. You are still in love with her."

While she spoke tears started escaping my eyes and mixed with the rain flowing down my face. Andrea was right. I was still in love with Calliope, and I would probably always be.

"I don't know what to do...", I mumbled defeated. I loved Callie so much, but there was this one thing between us, and I didn't know what to do about it. I don't know why the idea of kids terrified me so much, but the fear was present, I couldn't change that.

"Maybe you could", Andrea said while putting a comforting hand around my shoulders.

"What?" My head shot up. I hadn't realized I had said that out loud.

"You are strong, Arizona. And you are smart. Maybe it is just a fear, like you said. You could overcome that. I think together with Dr. Torres you could. It is obvious that you two are still in love with each other. Just go talk to her. Tell her about your fear. Maybe she can help you through it."

The way she said that it sounded so simple. So easy and obvious. Was it just the fear? I had told Calliope that I didn't want my life to change. Ha! My life changed the second I walked into that bathroom after Callie, and it was good. Maybe change is good.

"I have to talk to her!" I got up, obviously startling Andrea. I looked into the house through the window, but couldn't spot the raven haired beauty.

"Where is she?", I wondered out loud. My gaze wandered to Andrea, who was still sitting on the swing. At my questioning and a little lost look she got up.

"Go find her!", she encouraged me.

"Thank you!", I told her sincerely and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before turning around and dashing into the house to look for Calliope.

Ten minutes later I had checked the whole house, but there was no sight of the brunette. Maybe she left already. Right at this moment Owen passed me.

"Hey, Owen!", I quickly yelled, probably too loud because some people were looking in our direction.

"Oh.. hey, Arizona. Are you okay, you look ah.. wet."

"No, don't worry. I'm fine", I quickly dismissed his question. "Have you seen Calliope?"

Before he could answer Reed showed up next to him.

"Dr. Torres?", she asked in an innocent voice. "Last I saw her Dr. Sloan was offering her sexual favors. I think they left after that. If I recall it correctly, he said: 'You wanna go back to my place and do it in the shower? Teddy's in surgery tonight and that's exactly what you need.'" She especially emphasized the last words as a smile formed in her face. I only shot her an angry stare.

"Oh, shut up", Owen told her, took me by the hand and led me away from her. "You know that's not true, Arizona."

"Yeah, sure. They're just friends", I answered automatically. Over the last year it had often seemed like there was something going on between the two of them, but Callie had assured me over and over again that they were just friends. I trusted her and believed her, already after the first time she told me. That she kept on assuring me only made me more confident about it. Soon I got so used to telling everybody not to worry, that they're just friends that somehow I said it almost every time I even heard their names in the same sentence.

"Exactly. But I haven't seen her. She probably went home already. Why?", he asked, suddenly remembering that we had broken up.

"I want to talk to her", I answered instantly, almost smiling.

"That's great. Do you need a ride?", he offered.

"No, thanks, I'm good", I said over my shoulder, already on the way out the door.

I sped down the highway and was in record time at Callie's apartment building. I ran up the stairs, not wanting to wait for the elevator, my need to talk to Calliope was overwhelming. I had no idea what I was going to say, but Andrea really helped me realize that I can't and won't live without her, and that the kids issue was something we could overcome together, because we were awesome.

I finally arrived at Callie's door, totally out of breath. I took a minute to compose myself, only now realizing how horrible I must look. Drenched, probably red in the face from running up the stairs, make up all over my face from crying. But I didn't really mind. Callie had seen me worse.

After I caught my breath I knocked loudly.

Once...

Twice...

No answer.

"Come on!", I yelled at no one in particular and I knocked again, almost breaking the door. She had to be home. Where else could she be? Suddenly it came to my mind. Slowly I turned around, took a few steps and was in front of Mark's door within seconds. I raised my hand to knock, but hesitated. Reed's words were replaying in my mind. _You wanna go back to my place and do it in the shower? __Teddy's in surgery tonight and that's exactly what you need..._

I shook my head to ban those thoughts from my mind. I was being ridiculous. They only were friends. Were... _No, Arizona, don't think like that!_ I scolded myself and knocked.

The door opened almost immediately. Mark was standing in front of me, only with pants, a shirt in his hand.

"Oh, hey Arizona", he greeted me, a little awkwardly and quickly pulled on the shirt.

I took a step into his apartment and looked around. The light was dimmed, candles were lit and soft romantic music played in the background.

"What is going on here?", I asked, caught by surprise by this sight.

Mark opened his mouth to answer, but was interrupted when the bathroom door opened. He turned around and my head snapped around as well.

There was Callie, only with a towel around her body, evidently just coming out of the shower. I looked at her for a second. She just stared back at me, caught off guard by my presence. My gaze slowly wandered to Mark, then to the romantic apartment. I took a shaky step backwards. I had the feeling like my legs would give away any second. My chest tightened and I felt sick.

Callie made a step towards me, but I threw up my hands in a defending gesture. With one last look at them I turned around, running out of the apartment before my legs would give away.

I heard the distant sound of Callie calling my name, but I didn't stop. I just ran. Ran away from the apartment. Away from the two _friends_. Away from what I just saw. Away from everything.


End file.
